heading to the Rolls Royce limo on the way to the wedding.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Recollections
When it comes to recollections of events it is generally adversity that gives us the strongest memory retention. We spent a week in La Paz in a beautiful Penthouse but my strongest memory might be getting locked out that penthouse on the heels of thinking that Justin and Nickolus might be injured when we lost sight up them on the rocks down the beach. The girls ran out of the house, and I ran after them as the door shut behind me. We finally got back in after waiting for the locksmith, 90 pesos or $6. I have him forty and my gratitude.
I spent three weeks in Hawaii and remember best getting caught in the rain in Kauai and falling down the embankment.
As a child we didn’t take many vacations but certainly remember the time it rained on us at Oak Creek Canyon near the Grand Canyon. None of the flashlights worked and we could not get the lanterns lit. Denny’s beef stew tastes pretty good when you are cold and hungry.
I guess it sounds like I get caught in the rain quite a bit. That truly isn’t the case as I went for nearly a month to Europe and only saw twenty minutes or rain.
I spent three weeks in Hawaii and remember best getting caught in the rain in Kauai and falling down the embankment.
As a child we didn’t take many vacations but certainly remember the time it rained on us at Oak Creek Canyon near the Grand Canyon. None of the flashlights worked and we could not get the lanterns lit. Denny’s beef stew tastes pretty good when you are cold and hungry.
I guess it sounds like I get caught in the rain quite a bit. That truly isn’t the case as I went for nearly a month to Europe and only saw twenty minutes or rain.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Life altering changes
My guess is that most of us have had a life changing experience. It might amount to darn near anything from getting arrested, escaping certain death in a car crash to losing a friend or family member to an early death.
Recently I wrote about a life-altering incidence that no on should have to face, being the death of your child.
I reflect from time to time that the death of Tom Skiles. We were both 22 when he died which was my life-shifting occurrence. Tom died of cancer nearly three decades ago, at a time when anyone my age rarely heard of cancer. We did not know that the chances of survival were next to none. My friends and I all denied his health issues and thought he would survive. Tom didn’t survive, I never told him how I felt about him. How I enjoyed our times together and that he made me smile and that he had a great heart. Regret is a bitter pill, however to learn from regret is valuable. I started from that time to today to keep in touch and to tell people how much they mean to you. Tom’s tragic death radically affected me to change my behavior due to the pain and regret. To tell those you love that they are loved and those who are your friends that they are a valuable asset to your life. Not just by saying thanks but also to give someone actually instances about their value.
This lesson has become of great value to me, as I didn’t miss that moment to thank my Grandfather Lloyd for all his wisdom and kindness in my life. When he passed in 1979 at the age of 81 I was only sad for those who never knew him and that Grandma lost her companion of over sixty years.
It is on the ledger of things we regret not doing versus those we did regret doing. Most people I talk to agree we generally don’t regret doing it, but rather being paralyzed with the fear of failure or rejection. I never played high school football (were most of all my friends did). I allowed my hair length to stand in the way of going for it. Maybe I am better off as I still have good knees and my mobility. However, after coaching Justin in Pop Warner I truly understood what I missed not being part of a team dependent on all of the parts to make the whole. Ok, I said it and stand by that regret. It has led me to think we should “Never settle for less”.
Now that I have covered being grateful, and regret it leads me back to life changing events. Most of us have heard stories about people who didn’t get on the plane and then that plane crashed. One of the more famous stories was the death of Stevie Ray Vaughn.
After a Wisconsin show with fellow guitar greats Eric Clapton, Buddy Guy, Robert Cray and Stevie's brother, Jimmie on 26 August 1990, Stevie hopped on a helicopter with Eric Clapton's band on the way to Chicago. Clapton declined the ride at the last moment. Tragically, the helicopter crashed not long after midnight on the 27th and Stevie Ray Vaughan was killed at the age of 35.
Jack Morse, my Dad’s oldest brother was NOT ON the Pan Am flight that crashed in the Canary Islands because he made a phone call to the office and retrieved a message not to go as he was more needed at his workplace. Jack would have certainly been killed, as he would have been in first class cabin, which was the point of impact.
7 March 1977;Pan Am 747-100; Tenerife, Canary Islands: The aircraft had been scheduled to arrive at the Las Palmas airport after a non-scheduled flight from New York's JFK airport, but was diverted to Tenerife after a bomb explosion at the Las Palmas airport. Because of limited visibility and communications difficulties between air traffic control and a KLM 747 aircraft, the KLM 747 started its takeoff and collided with the Pan Am 747 that was taxiing on the same runway. Nine of the 16 crew and 321 of the 380 passengers on the Pan Am flight were killed. All 234 passengers and 14 crew on the KLM 747 were killed.
Jack never really spoke to me of how it changed his life. If any of you discussed this event with him it would be meaningful to know his thoughts.
Before I get to my most recent encounter I have to share that as I was sharing this with Karyn Wilson, she shared another life changing experience of dodging deaths call.
Judie Lewis was in Northern California on Sunday September 24th of 1975 getting talked out of taking PSA Flight 182 from San Francisco to San Diego. Judie changed her mind a drove back with her sister Patti and their friend Neil. On Monday, September 25th, San Diego was the scene of the worst air disaster, to date, in the United States. A mid-air collision between a Cessna 172 and a Pacific Southwest Airlines Boeing 727 caused both planes to crash into the neighborhood below. A total of 144 lives were lost including 7 people on the ground as well as the two people the Cessna light aircraft. More than 20 residences were damaged or destroyed. The fire went to Fourth Alarm status, committing 60% of the on-duty force of the Department as well as several outside agencies who also responded.
I don’t know if Judie did anything any different but I know her pretty well and she couldn’t be any more grateful for the smallest gift or act. One of my greatest challenges was being at Judie’s side the day her son unexpectedly died at the age of 40. God provides us untold strength at times of crisis and I was blessed to be able to provide the very best comfort that I could to her time in that time of unspoken tragic loss.
I talked to one more flight survivor yesterday; Ime Soto-Locatelli who shared with me that she had a seat reservation of flight 77 flying out of Dulles Intl to Los Angeles. She shared with me that she had a last minute decision to stay back and speak with her client. She felt uncomfortable about the results of their meeting on that Monday. She decided to stay back and do better. Wow, how amazing to be saved from one of the most infamous flights in World History, due to her own heart and head to do better in her job. She shared with me how it changed her life and that she is more thankful and grateful and has made it her mission to travel more and enjoy life to its fullest.
American Flight 77 took off from Dulles headed northwest towards Indianapolis turned back towards the Pentagon where is slammed into the building. The Internet is full of conspiracy theories about that fact there was no plane that crashed into the Pentagon.
ttp://911review.org/
Seeing that the people are missing along with their plane this seems pretty far-fetched. There is also substantial eyewitness statements to the contrary.
I included the passenger list as it makes this tragedy more real when viewed in names.
PASSENGERS
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Paul Ambrose, 32, of Washington, was a physician who worked with the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the surgeon general to address racial and ethnic disparities in health. A 1995 graduate of Marshall University School of Medicine, Ambrose last year was named the Luther Terry Fellow of the Association of Teachers of Preventative Medicine.
Yeneneh Betru, 35, was from Burbank, California.
M.J. Booth
Bernard Brown, 11, was a student at Leckie Elementary School in Washington. He was embarking on an educational trip to the Channel Islands National Marine Sanctuary near Santa Barbara, California, as part of a program funded by the National Geographic Society.
Suzanne Calley, 42, of San Martin, California, was an employee of Cisco Systems Inc.
William Caswell
Sarah Clark, 65, of Columbia, Maryland, was a sixth-grade teacher at Backus Middle School in Washington. She was accompanying a student on an educational trip to the Channel Islands National Marine Sanctuary near Santa Barbara, California, as part of a program funded by the National Geographic Society.
Asia Cottom, 11, was a student at Backus Middle School in Washington. Asia was embarking on an educational trip to the Channel Islands National Marine Sanctuary near Santa Barbara, California, as part of a program funded by the National Geographic Society.
James Debeuneure, 58, of Upper Marlboro, Maryland, was a fifth-grade teacher at Ketcham Elementary School in Washington. He was accompanying a student on an educational trip to the Channel Islands National Marine Sanctuary near Santa Barbara, California, as part of a program funded by the National Geographic Society.
Rodney Dickens, 11, was a student at Leckie Elementary School in Washington. He was embarking on an educational trip to the Channel Islands National Marine Sanctuary near Santa Barbara, California, as part of a program funded by the National Geographic Society.
Eddie Dillard
Charles Droz
Barbara Edwards, 58, of Las Vegas, Nevada, was a teacher at Palo Verde High School in Las Vegas.
Charles S. Falkenberg, 45, of University Park, Maryland, was the director of research at ECOlogic Corp., a software engineering firm. He worked on data systems for NASA and also developed data systems for the study of global and regional environmental issues. Falkenburg was traveling with his wife, Leslie Whittingham, and their two daughters, Zoe, 8, and Dana, 3.
Zoe Falkenberg, 8, of University Park, Maryland, was the daughter of Charles Falkenberg and Leslie Whittingham.
Dana Falkenberg, 3, of University Park, Maryland, was the daughter of Charles Falkenberg and Leslie Whittingham.
Joe Ferguson was the director of the National Geographic Society's geography education outreach program in Washington. He was accompanying a group of students and teachers on an educational trip to the Channel Islands in California. A Mississippi native, he joined the society in 1987. "Joe Feguson's final hours at the Geographic reveal the depth of his commitment to one of the things he really loved," said John Fahey Jr., the society's president. "Joe was here at the office until late Monday evening preparing for this trip. It was his goal to make this trip perfect in every way."
Wilson "Bud" Flagg of Millwood, Virginia, was a retired Navy admiral and retired American Airlines pilot.
Dee Flagg
Richard Gabriel
Ian Gray, 55, of Washington was the president of a health-care consulting firm.
Stanley Hall, 68, was from Rancho Palos Verdes, California.
Bryan Jack, 48, of Alexandria, Virginia, was a senior executive at the Defense Department.
Steven D. "Jake" Jacoby, 43, of Alexandria, Virginia, was the chief operating officer of Metrocall Inc., a wireless data and messaging company.
Ann Judge, 49, of Virginia was the travel office manager for the National Geographic Society. She was accompanying a group of students and teachers on an educational trip to the Channel Islands in California. Society President John Fahey Jr. said one of his fondest memories of Judge is a voice mail she and a colleague once left him while they were rafting the Monkey River in Belize. "This was quintessential Ann -- living life to the fullest and wanting to share it with others," he said.
Chandler Keller, 29, was a Boeing propulsion engineer from El Segundo, California.
Yvonne Kennedy
Norma Khan, 45, from Reston, Virginia was a nonprofit organization manager.
Karen A. Kincaid, 40, was a lawyer with the Washington firm of Wiley Rein & Fielding. She joined the firm in 1993 and was part of the its telecommunications practice. She was married to Peter Batacan.
Norma Langsteuerle
Dong Lee
Dora Menchaca, 45, of Santa Monica, California, was the associate director of clinical research for a biotech firm.
Christopher Newton, 38, of Anaheim, California, was president and chief executive officer of Work-Life Benefits, a consultation and referral service. He was married and had two children. Newton was on his way back to Orange County to retrieve his family's yellow Labrador, who had been left behind until they could settle into their new home in Arlington, Virginia.
Barbara Olson, 45, was a conservative commentator who often appeared on CNN and was married to U.S. Solicitor General Theodore Olson. She twice called her husband as the plane was being hijacked and described some details, including that the attackers were armed with knives. She had planned to take a different flight, but she changed it at the last minute so that she could be with her husband on his birthday. She worked as an investigator for the House Government Reform Committee in the mid-1990s and later worked on the staff of Senate Minority Whip Don Nickles.
Ruben Ornedo, 39, of Los Angeles, California, was a Boeing propulsion engineer.
Robert Penniger, 63, of Poway, California, was an electrical engineer with BAE Systems.
Lisa Raines, 42, was senior vice president for government relations at the Washington office of Genzyme, a biotechnology firm. She was from Great Falls, Virginia, and was married to Stephen Push. She worked with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration on developing a new policy governing cellular therapies, announced in 1997. She also worked on other major health-care legislation.
Todd Reuben, 40, of Potomac, Maryland, was a tax and business lawyer.
John Sammartino
Diane Simmons
George Simmons
Mari-Rae Sopper of Santa Barbara, California, was a women's gymnastics coach at the University of California at Santa Barbara. She had just gotten the post August 31 and was making the trip to California to start work.
Bob Speisman, 47, was from Irvington, New York.
Hilda Taylor was a sixth-grade teacher at Leckie Elementary School in Washington. She was accompanying a student on an educational trip to the Channel Islands National Marine Sanctuary near Santa Barbara, California, as part of a program funded by the National Geographic Society.
Leonard Taylor was from Reston, Virginia.
Leslie A. Whittington, 45, was from University Park, Maryland. The professor of public policy at Georgetown University in Washington was traveling with her husband, Charles Falkenberg, 45, and their two daughters, Zoe, 8, and Dana, 3. They were traveling to Los Angeles to catch a connection to Australia. Whittington had been named a visiting fellow at Australian National University in Canberra.
John Yamnicky, 71, was from Waldorf, Maryland.
Vicki Yancey
Shuyin Yang
Yuguag Zheng
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I also want to mention the death of Tim Ward a passenger on Flight 175 from Boston, the second plane to hit the Towers. He is a person I knew from working for Ralph Rubio, always a wide white teeth grin. Never married, no children.
Timothy Ward, 38, of San Diego, California, worked at the Carlsbad, California-based Rubio's Restaurants Inc. A 14-year veteran of the company, he opened its second restaurant in San Diego and most recently worked in the information technology department.
Why does it take tragedy to makes us live our life to its fullest? I really can’t say but maybe the realization of losing something is more valuable to us than the appreciation of what we have. I tried to find anything on this subject on the Internet. What I discovered was quite a bit of how to handle tragic loss (mostly group support and drugs). Article after article talked about how to deal with tragedy though getting your feelings out and dealing with them. I am not saying that feelings should summarily be dismissed, but do the five stages of grief really deal with any part of resolution?
DENIAL
ANGER
BARGAINING
DEPRESSION
ACCEPTANCE
The TLC group out of Dallas seems to have more reasonable approach.
T = To accept the reality of the loss E = Experience the pain of the loss
A = Adjust to the new environment without the lost object R = Reinvest in the new reality
It would appear to me that the second model have a more positive outcome. Acceptance to me is sort of a deal with it approach that does not do anything with moving on in a constructive manner. For someone to choose to reinvest in the new reality leads to better and more life affirming conclusions.
Now having said all that there has been much written about how to handle tragedy but not that much when people turn Lemons into Lemonade. Which brings me to a long held belief that the quality of our life is determined on the quality of the questions you ask yourself. Therefore when tragedy strikes and you ask yourself “Why does this happen to me” a long linty of negative answers might follow. However, when tragedy strikes and you ask, “What can I learn from this to make this situation have the most positive outcome” will get you a whole other group of more positive outcomes that could follow.
I have enjoyed learning about more positive approaches to living and sharing. Please email me your thoughts to Daily_Quote@cox.net
Recently I wrote about a life-altering incidence that no on should have to face, being the death of your child.
I reflect from time to time that the death of Tom Skiles. We were both 22 when he died which was my life-shifting occurrence. Tom died of cancer nearly three decades ago, at a time when anyone my age rarely heard of cancer. We did not know that the chances of survival were next to none. My friends and I all denied his health issues and thought he would survive. Tom didn’t survive, I never told him how I felt about him. How I enjoyed our times together and that he made me smile and that he had a great heart. Regret is a bitter pill, however to learn from regret is valuable. I started from that time to today to keep in touch and to tell people how much they mean to you. Tom’s tragic death radically affected me to change my behavior due to the pain and regret. To tell those you love that they are loved and those who are your friends that they are a valuable asset to your life. Not just by saying thanks but also to give someone actually instances about their value.
This lesson has become of great value to me, as I didn’t miss that moment to thank my Grandfather Lloyd for all his wisdom and kindness in my life. When he passed in 1979 at the age of 81 I was only sad for those who never knew him and that Grandma lost her companion of over sixty years.
It is on the ledger of things we regret not doing versus those we did regret doing. Most people I talk to agree we generally don’t regret doing it, but rather being paralyzed with the fear of failure or rejection. I never played high school football (were most of all my friends did). I allowed my hair length to stand in the way of going for it. Maybe I am better off as I still have good knees and my mobility. However, after coaching Justin in Pop Warner I truly understood what I missed not being part of a team dependent on all of the parts to make the whole. Ok, I said it and stand by that regret. It has led me to think we should “Never settle for less”.
Now that I have covered being grateful, and regret it leads me back to life changing events. Most of us have heard stories about people who didn’t get on the plane and then that plane crashed. One of the more famous stories was the death of Stevie Ray Vaughn.
After a Wisconsin show with fellow guitar greats Eric Clapton, Buddy Guy, Robert Cray and Stevie's brother, Jimmie on 26 August 1990, Stevie hopped on a helicopter with Eric Clapton's band on the way to Chicago. Clapton declined the ride at the last moment. Tragically, the helicopter crashed not long after midnight on the 27th and Stevie Ray Vaughan was killed at the age of 35.
Jack Morse, my Dad’s oldest brother was NOT ON the Pan Am flight that crashed in the Canary Islands because he made a phone call to the office and retrieved a message not to go as he was more needed at his workplace. Jack would have certainly been killed, as he would have been in first class cabin, which was the point of impact.
7 March 1977;Pan Am 747-100; Tenerife, Canary Islands: The aircraft had been scheduled to arrive at the Las Palmas airport after a non-scheduled flight from New York's JFK airport, but was diverted to Tenerife after a bomb explosion at the Las Palmas airport. Because of limited visibility and communications difficulties between air traffic control and a KLM 747 aircraft, the KLM 747 started its takeoff and collided with the Pan Am 747 that was taxiing on the same runway. Nine of the 16 crew and 321 of the 380 passengers on the Pan Am flight were killed. All 234 passengers and 14 crew on the KLM 747 were killed.
Jack never really spoke to me of how it changed his life. If any of you discussed this event with him it would be meaningful to know his thoughts.
Before I get to my most recent encounter I have to share that as I was sharing this with Karyn Wilson, she shared another life changing experience of dodging deaths call.
Judie Lewis was in Northern California on Sunday September 24th of 1975 getting talked out of taking PSA Flight 182 from San Francisco to San Diego. Judie changed her mind a drove back with her sister Patti and their friend Neil. On Monday, September 25th, San Diego was the scene of the worst air disaster, to date, in the United States. A mid-air collision between a Cessna 172 and a Pacific Southwest Airlines Boeing 727 caused both planes to crash into the neighborhood below. A total of 144 lives were lost including 7 people on the ground as well as the two people the Cessna light aircraft. More than 20 residences were damaged or destroyed. The fire went to Fourth Alarm status, committing 60% of the on-duty force of the Department as well as several outside agencies who also responded.
I don’t know if Judie did anything any different but I know her pretty well and she couldn’t be any more grateful for the smallest gift or act. One of my greatest challenges was being at Judie’s side the day her son unexpectedly died at the age of 40. God provides us untold strength at times of crisis and I was blessed to be able to provide the very best comfort that I could to her time in that time of unspoken tragic loss.
I talked to one more flight survivor yesterday; Ime Soto-Locatelli who shared with me that she had a seat reservation of flight 77 flying out of Dulles Intl to Los Angeles. She shared with me that she had a last minute decision to stay back and speak with her client. She felt uncomfortable about the results of their meeting on that Monday. She decided to stay back and do better. Wow, how amazing to be saved from one of the most infamous flights in World History, due to her own heart and head to do better in her job. She shared with me how it changed her life and that she is more thankful and grateful and has made it her mission to travel more and enjoy life to its fullest.
American Flight 77 took off from Dulles headed northwest towards Indianapolis turned back towards the Pentagon where is slammed into the building. The Internet is full of conspiracy theories about that fact there was no plane that crashed into the Pentagon.
ttp://911review.org/
Seeing that the people are missing along with their plane this seems pretty far-fetched. There is also substantial eyewitness statements to the contrary.
I included the passenger list as it makes this tragedy more real when viewed in names.
PASSENGERS
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Paul Ambrose, 32, of Washington, was a physician who worked with the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the surgeon general to address racial and ethnic disparities in health. A 1995 graduate of Marshall University School of Medicine, Ambrose last year was named the Luther Terry Fellow of the Association of Teachers of Preventative Medicine.
Yeneneh Betru, 35, was from Burbank, California.
M.J. Booth
Bernard Brown, 11, was a student at Leckie Elementary School in Washington. He was embarking on an educational trip to the Channel Islands National Marine Sanctuary near Santa Barbara, California, as part of a program funded by the National Geographic Society.
Suzanne Calley, 42, of San Martin, California, was an employee of Cisco Systems Inc.
William Caswell
Sarah Clark, 65, of Columbia, Maryland, was a sixth-grade teacher at Backus Middle School in Washington. She was accompanying a student on an educational trip to the Channel Islands National Marine Sanctuary near Santa Barbara, California, as part of a program funded by the National Geographic Society.
Asia Cottom, 11, was a student at Backus Middle School in Washington. Asia was embarking on an educational trip to the Channel Islands National Marine Sanctuary near Santa Barbara, California, as part of a program funded by the National Geographic Society.
James Debeuneure, 58, of Upper Marlboro, Maryland, was a fifth-grade teacher at Ketcham Elementary School in Washington. He was accompanying a student on an educational trip to the Channel Islands National Marine Sanctuary near Santa Barbara, California, as part of a program funded by the National Geographic Society.
Rodney Dickens, 11, was a student at Leckie Elementary School in Washington. He was embarking on an educational trip to the Channel Islands National Marine Sanctuary near Santa Barbara, California, as part of a program funded by the National Geographic Society.
Eddie Dillard
Charles Droz
Barbara Edwards, 58, of Las Vegas, Nevada, was a teacher at Palo Verde High School in Las Vegas.
Charles S. Falkenberg, 45, of University Park, Maryland, was the director of research at ECOlogic Corp., a software engineering firm. He worked on data systems for NASA and also developed data systems for the study of global and regional environmental issues. Falkenburg was traveling with his wife, Leslie Whittingham, and their two daughters, Zoe, 8, and Dana, 3.
Zoe Falkenberg, 8, of University Park, Maryland, was the daughter of Charles Falkenberg and Leslie Whittingham.
Dana Falkenberg, 3, of University Park, Maryland, was the daughter of Charles Falkenberg and Leslie Whittingham.
Joe Ferguson was the director of the National Geographic Society's geography education outreach program in Washington. He was accompanying a group of students and teachers on an educational trip to the Channel Islands in California. A Mississippi native, he joined the society in 1987. "Joe Feguson's final hours at the Geographic reveal the depth of his commitment to one of the things he really loved," said John Fahey Jr., the society's president. "Joe was here at the office until late Monday evening preparing for this trip. It was his goal to make this trip perfect in every way."
Wilson "Bud" Flagg of Millwood, Virginia, was a retired Navy admiral and retired American Airlines pilot.
Dee Flagg
Richard Gabriel
Ian Gray, 55, of Washington was the president of a health-care consulting firm.
Stanley Hall, 68, was from Rancho Palos Verdes, California.
Bryan Jack, 48, of Alexandria, Virginia, was a senior executive at the Defense Department.
Steven D. "Jake" Jacoby, 43, of Alexandria, Virginia, was the chief operating officer of Metrocall Inc., a wireless data and messaging company.
Ann Judge, 49, of Virginia was the travel office manager for the National Geographic Society. She was accompanying a group of students and teachers on an educational trip to the Channel Islands in California. Society President John Fahey Jr. said one of his fondest memories of Judge is a voice mail she and a colleague once left him while they were rafting the Monkey River in Belize. "This was quintessential Ann -- living life to the fullest and wanting to share it with others," he said.
Chandler Keller, 29, was a Boeing propulsion engineer from El Segundo, California.
Yvonne Kennedy
Norma Khan, 45, from Reston, Virginia was a nonprofit organization manager.
Karen A. Kincaid, 40, was a lawyer with the Washington firm of Wiley Rein & Fielding. She joined the firm in 1993 and was part of the its telecommunications practice. She was married to Peter Batacan.
Norma Langsteuerle
Dong Lee
Dora Menchaca, 45, of Santa Monica, California, was the associate director of clinical research for a biotech firm.
Christopher Newton, 38, of Anaheim, California, was president and chief executive officer of Work-Life Benefits, a consultation and referral service. He was married and had two children. Newton was on his way back to Orange County to retrieve his family's yellow Labrador, who had been left behind until they could settle into their new home in Arlington, Virginia.
Barbara Olson, 45, was a conservative commentator who often appeared on CNN and was married to U.S. Solicitor General Theodore Olson. She twice called her husband as the plane was being hijacked and described some details, including that the attackers were armed with knives. She had planned to take a different flight, but she changed it at the last minute so that she could be with her husband on his birthday. She worked as an investigator for the House Government Reform Committee in the mid-1990s and later worked on the staff of Senate Minority Whip Don Nickles.
Ruben Ornedo, 39, of Los Angeles, California, was a Boeing propulsion engineer.
Robert Penniger, 63, of Poway, California, was an electrical engineer with BAE Systems.
Lisa Raines, 42, was senior vice president for government relations at the Washington office of Genzyme, a biotechnology firm. She was from Great Falls, Virginia, and was married to Stephen Push. She worked with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration on developing a new policy governing cellular therapies, announced in 1997. She also worked on other major health-care legislation.
Todd Reuben, 40, of Potomac, Maryland, was a tax and business lawyer.
John Sammartino
Diane Simmons
George Simmons
Mari-Rae Sopper of Santa Barbara, California, was a women's gymnastics coach at the University of California at Santa Barbara. She had just gotten the post August 31 and was making the trip to California to start work.
Bob Speisman, 47, was from Irvington, New York.
Hilda Taylor was a sixth-grade teacher at Leckie Elementary School in Washington. She was accompanying a student on an educational trip to the Channel Islands National Marine Sanctuary near Santa Barbara, California, as part of a program funded by the National Geographic Society.
Leonard Taylor was from Reston, Virginia.
Leslie A. Whittington, 45, was from University Park, Maryland. The professor of public policy at Georgetown University in Washington was traveling with her husband, Charles Falkenberg, 45, and their two daughters, Zoe, 8, and Dana, 3. They were traveling to Los Angeles to catch a connection to Australia. Whittington had been named a visiting fellow at Australian National University in Canberra.
John Yamnicky, 71, was from Waldorf, Maryland.
Vicki Yancey
Shuyin Yang
Yuguag Zheng
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I also want to mention the death of Tim Ward a passenger on Flight 175 from Boston, the second plane to hit the Towers. He is a person I knew from working for Ralph Rubio, always a wide white teeth grin. Never married, no children.
Timothy Ward, 38, of San Diego, California, worked at the Carlsbad, California-based Rubio's Restaurants Inc. A 14-year veteran of the company, he opened its second restaurant in San Diego and most recently worked in the information technology department.
Why does it take tragedy to makes us live our life to its fullest? I really can’t say but maybe the realization of losing something is more valuable to us than the appreciation of what we have. I tried to find anything on this subject on the Internet. What I discovered was quite a bit of how to handle tragic loss (mostly group support and drugs). Article after article talked about how to deal with tragedy though getting your feelings out and dealing with them. I am not saying that feelings should summarily be dismissed, but do the five stages of grief really deal with any part of resolution?
DENIAL
ANGER
BARGAINING
DEPRESSION
ACCEPTANCE
The TLC group out of Dallas seems to have more reasonable approach.
T = To accept the reality of the loss E = Experience the pain of the loss
A = Adjust to the new environment without the lost object R = Reinvest in the new reality
It would appear to me that the second model have a more positive outcome. Acceptance to me is sort of a deal with it approach that does not do anything with moving on in a constructive manner. For someone to choose to reinvest in the new reality leads to better and more life affirming conclusions.
Now having said all that there has been much written about how to handle tragedy but not that much when people turn Lemons into Lemonade. Which brings me to a long held belief that the quality of our life is determined on the quality of the questions you ask yourself. Therefore when tragedy strikes and you ask yourself “Why does this happen to me” a long linty of negative answers might follow. However, when tragedy strikes and you ask, “What can I learn from this to make this situation have the most positive outcome” will get you a whole other group of more positive outcomes that could follow.
I have enjoyed learning about more positive approaches to living and sharing. Please email me your thoughts to Daily_Quote@cox.net
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Nick Wilde
Written on September 3, 2005
Life has its twists and turns, some good and others bad. I had sent an email some days back that Nick Wilde, a young Marine lost his life in a training exercise. He was the older brother of one of Justin’s friends. Nick and I might have met twice but no more than that. I didn’t really know him other than he was Brandon’s older brother, our families really didn’t intersect.
The reason I am writing is that after Justin and I attended Nick’s funeral on Saturday I felt the need to share with you the experience. As you could probably imagine the foundation of a life well spent is a completely different one than a life cut short. He wasn’t sick and no one could have thought he would die within this country with all of the commitments and dangers aboard facing a solider in today’s armed forces.
What is abundantly clear is the horrific tragedy of losing a child. I cannot envision any more painful scar to walk through life. It has to be an unimaginable throbbing one would carry everyday for the rest of their lives. I sat with Justin, my son we were seated in the second to the last row of the New Hope Church in Rancho Penasquitos, CA a small suburb north of San Diego. As people poured into to church to attend this service more and more rows of seats were added behind us until the Fire Marshall would have probably been disappointed at the burgeoning body count.
As I sat there, some rather dramatic sights were before us. One was the two dress-marine’s who stood guard on each side of the flag draped coffin. The other, a slide show of Nick’s short life. The sight of honor guard standing motionless and stiff against the continual changing of photos of Nick playing and laughing over 20 years on the screen were so conflicting that I could not help but to struggle with my emotions. I immediately thought that here I sit just seven days before I get the pleasure of being the father of the bride, while in the first row is Nick’s parents who have lost their eldest son and never get to see or hold him again. The imbalance of life could not be more starkly apparent. I finally lifted my eyeglasses on to the crown of my head so that the task of wiping the tears rolling down my eyes would not be anymore demanding. I wished I had a hanky or tissue but it wasn’t really that important. We didn’t know this young man other than by name, but his fate and the pain for his family could not have been anymore genuine for me. How lucky my family is and how mournful this state of affairs must be for the Wilde’s.
The service started off with the Pastor re-assuring the congregation that Nick was in a better place and that his relationship with his lord gave his everlasting life. That is the guarantee a Christian has in this hour of pain. Next, two young men who knew him since they were young spoke to the gathering. Both talked separately but had the same message that Nick was loyal and fun. I wouldn’t mind having those two labels pinned on me at my memorial service. Through stories and insight these two youthful men spoke openly and passionately about their friend who made a differentiation in their lives. How Nick was always there without question to help and support a friend. Then there was a time where the audience was invited to reflect on Nick’s life. I always feel very uncomfortable with these unscripted moments, what if no one talks? Well needless to say, this turned out entirely dissimilar than any apprehension I could have had for his acquaintances and family. Two Marine’s took the microphone talking about Nick’s commitment to his unit and his God. They shared his fanatical commitment to doing his very best and his ready for action nature. One woman who grabbed the mike was the mother of one of the young men who spoke from the pulpit, she in very emotional terms told of the many trips to the beach with “the boys” and how they would wrestle and act up. She indicated that in hindsight those are the stolen moments you remember for a lifetime and what a little devil Nick could be but how much she loved his spirit and zest for life. Nick’s seventh grade teacher was there and through her tears told us that Nick wasn’t the best student but someone who made a difference to her class and that she loved his enduring spirit. One after another for about forty-five minutes people rose to their feet and spoke. It was incredible to grasp about the love for Nick and his family. The two individuals who had the most courage and impact were his grandmother and grandfather. She got up first and read a poem about love and family, she also spoke about Nick joining the Marine’s and what a difference it had made on his faith and life. Right after her Nick’s grandpa got up and told us how worried they were about Nick joining the service, what fear that had he might be lost on the battle field of the middle east. He then said that the transformation of Nick’s character after joining the corps was tremendous. He also shared that the Corps had been more supportive than he ever expected in Nick’s death an extended family, one that providing comfort in their pain. He thanked the soldier’s who were in the room (some 40 of them) for their service to our country and how very lucky and proud we should all be for their commitment. At that point people started to clap and then Nick’s parents rose to their feet in the front row starting a thunderous standing ovation. This scene as so starkly in contrast of how our media has been providing us with another parents’ grief.
Another aspect of this setting was to be seated next to my son, only two years younger than Nick. I often during the service touched Justin’s leg or put my arm around him. This time also made me reflect on Justin’s own spoken commitment to his country. He told me after 911 that he would gladly serve if called on to protect our freedoms. Although easier said than done, we know that he would.
I know that these thousand plus words don’t even come close doing Nick or this service justice. I hope that it does in some way provide some comfort that when one of our hero’s fall in the line of duty that our Military does provide comfort and care.
I feel so very fortunate to have my two children and I pray that God allows me to pass before they do, as the thought if either of them dying before me is too painful to even comprehend.
May he rest in peace and may God provide his family with comfort!
Jeff
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
No Greater Gift than the love of your daughter
Dad's are the luckiest men in the world, as they both get the heartache of being the father when tough things arise, and the joy of being Daddy on the wedding day. I am SO LUCKY to have gotten to walk Nicolle down the isle to marry her best friend Nikolus on Septmeber 10, 2005.
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